Sunday, December 11, 2005

Dean Blames Bushes High Approval Rating on Bush

WASHINGTON - "The Presidents 42% approval rating is entirely Bushes fault,” screamed Democratic Party President Howard Dean at a morning press conference. "If me or Al, or me were President our approval rating would be over a hundred percent, maybe more. AAAARRRRRGGHH".

Dean called on President Bush to set a timetable to achieve a 0% approval rating, and introduced a motion in the Senate to have the approval rating reduced to single digits by 2007.

An AP-Ipso-facto poll found President Bush’s improved standing with whites, men, Catholics, non-whites, non-men, non-Catholics, women, non-women, their friends, IT guys, people with bad hair, bankers, bachi-ball players, acupuncturists, the homeless, the jobless, the feckless, the sentient, the hopelessly sentimental and anyone who can read have all been key factors in pushing up the Presidents approval rating.

The poll indicated Bush's approval rating has increased in every demographic except reporters, Wahabbiist's, 'B' list celebrities and Democrats not named Lieberman. The poll also noted that the increase was only found the Northeast, East, Southeast, South, Southwest, West, Northwest and North, noting "some directions were not as favourable as other directions, it all depends where you stand."

Italics Mine

© 2005, not.

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